Are Your Relationships Draining Your Energy?

Do you have a hard time saying No to the people you care about? Do you spend a lot of time worrying about loved ones? Do you feel like people take more from you than they give back? Do you feel underappreciated? These can be signs that you are giving away your energy in your relationships.

Elenor Roosevelt said, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Here’s where it can get tricky: the most powerful type of consent is often unconscious. This type of consent is based on deeply held beliefs. One belief, like I touched upon last week is about putting other people first and feeling guilty giving one’s energy to one’s self in self-care. It looks something like this:
    BELIEF: I want to be a good person. It is good to be selfless. It is bad to be selfish. Therefore I must always give people what they want when they ask for it. As a result, I feel guilty (selfish, bad) when I do something for myself.

    BELIEF: I am responsible for the happiness of all of the people in my family. Because of that, I end up thinking of every scenario where my loved ones could get hurt, could be disappointed, or make bad choices. I try to figure out how I can advise them, intervene on their behalf or somehow influence the outcome. As a result, I feel tired and drained.

Sometimes these beliefs and consents become conscious, but those patterns can still be difficult to change. The experience might be, “I want to say no but I just can’t seem to do it, and I just keep saying yes anyway. A person might become aware they worry a lot, and even believe that worrying doesn’t help anyone, yet the worries persist.

These beliefs are hard to change, in part, because they are associated with energetic patterns in the chakras and held in and around the body. A person’s chakras or energy centers can reveal how relationship energy imbalances can be affecting your body and physical posture (like I talked about in the “Containing Your Own Energy post on 1/30/21). The chakras can show where there are leaks, energy imbalances and patterns such as:

  • (I believe) your opinion matters more than mine
  • (I believe) your time is more valuable than mine
  • (I believe) I’m responsible for you and it’s my job to worry about you
    (just to name a few)

Tips to get out of these belief patterns

  • When you become aware of a limiting belief that you think is draining your energy, talk to a trusted and wise friend about it. Ask them if they see that in you too. If so, see if they can support you in making the change you’d like to make.
  • Be willing to embrace the discomfort of trying something new, knowing that it will get easier with practice. For example, when you realize you are worrying again, stop, and say a prayer giving it over to a higher power. Or imagine that person being happy and successful, and then move your brain onto another thought topic.
  • Ask yourself, where does this belief come from, or where do I hold it in my body. Imagine a piece of paper with the words of the belief on it. Imagine the light erasing the words, and write the words you would like to replace them with. Feel that new belief settle into your body.

If you’d like more help, visit and see how an Akashic Consultation and remote energy work session can help you remove energetic cords or leaks, and change limiting beliefs. It can be easier than you think.


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