Meeting Your Own Needs

This may be a helpful journal activity, or something to sit and reflect upon.

Identify a need you are having, or the unfulfilled feeling that you are having.  If you are feeling hurt, angry, sad, scared, jealous, or disappointed, why is that?  What were you wanting to feel instead?

Identify one specific way that feels like it is the most important or core aspect of your need: to hear specific loving words about your appearance, or to be appreciated for an act that you did, to feel physical affection, to feel cared about, or to feel connection, for example.  What is the feeling you want to feel?

Once you identify the specific need or want, sit with that longing or hurt.  Is there a place in your body that aches, or craves this, or feels associated with this need?

Imagine that you can be have that need met.  What is the essence and quality of the need?  Safety, love, appreciation, affection, acceptance …?  Begin to breathe in and connect with that quality.  Try with everything you have to remember what it feels like to have that feeling.  If you can, don’t attach the feeling to anything or anyone, just remember the feeling. Perhaps you imagine the feeling coming from a divine source, or from the vastness of the Universe.  Even if you can just barely sense that feeling you want … breathe in that feeling and quality into the place in your body that aches, craves, or feels connected to your need.  If you don’t feel a specific place, then imagine your whole body filling with this quality.

Imagine that this quality and energy (love, or affection, etc.) has wisdom it carries with it.  Let this wisdom speak to you and/or the place that is feeling the need.  Allow healing words to come – the words that you need to hear to bring healing and wholeness.  Write them down if you feel inspired to do so.

Imagine that place in your body that is associated with the need feeling filled up.  Visualize that place being filled with light, or imagine it as a wound being completely healed, or feel the ache or pain going away and feeling soothed, or the feeling of longing now being at peace.

Forgive the person that did not fulfill your needs.  Forgive yourself for having needs that have been unmet by others.  Allow yourself the possibility and notion that you may have the solution and the ability to fulfill those needs within yourself!